Just like Belle.

May 28 2010
Can I say to myself, 'I have achieved something in the last couple of days'? Yes & no. Does something have to happen for me to achieve anything?
I think as a human, if nothing happens then I have achieved nothing... What a load! The whole point of this exercise is do nothing and see what life throws my way, not to strive for something to happen...this does not give me permission to be lazy. I still have to get up, feed the kids, kiss the husband, do the shopping, do my job and service my community.
However, by not being so bent on getting somewhere, I might actually find myself in the right place.
How can I best discribe this "theory" (so to speak). Fridays are the highlight of my week. I look after a little special needs child (I will call her 'Belle')and she is the most delightful child. My job is to pick Belle up from her school, walk her to another centre and play with her for up to 3 hours.
I don't have to think about too much, my job is not to teach her, it is to play. We have a ball! It is so much fun! Belle just wants to play, sing, march, read books, jump, slide, dress up and then do it all over again in the spanned of 3 hours. And guest what I do? I play, sing, march, read books, jump etc....(notice how I left the slide out: my bottom is a bit big for the slide...hehehe..) but I don't have to think, I don't worry about if I am doing it right or have I achieved my goal today or whatever...and you know what, neither does Belle...it doesn't even come into it. Because it's not important!
What a lesson, what a wake up! Gosh if I could see myself through Belle's eyes of simplicity and 'the now', maybe I wouldn't see myself as an average person who fails to fulfil her life with really unimportant and trivial things...
So the question to myself is: What's the worst that could happen to me if nothing happens? Or if I don't make $1.3mil or I don't get to be Sales Director of my DSB or I never get that paid acting job I have wanted since I was a child or I never own my own home or I never go to Europe and live in Tuscany or those books I have written never get finished or published? What is the worst that could happen?
It is what is in front of me that is more important...my kids, my husband, my family, whether they are happy and feel loved and I am loved in return...I only get one chance in life with them...once that is gone it's gone.
I am not saying I shouldn't go for my dreams & goals, they are important to me but all I've ever done in life is strive. I've never given myself time to just enjoy 'the now'. Just like Belle.