Vacancy

You know the feeling.. there you are in a good situation, nothing really worth complaining about in your life.. you have everything you need, life has been going at a steady pace and you are blessed enough, things seems to be fine but you are still left with the sense of vacancy; not vague or empty but just vacant. 
Today I am feeling that way.  It is quite surreal.  It is like my insides are expecting something to happen at some stage in this life but there is an uncertain sense with in.  Not unhappiness, just a sense that things in my life could be at a different level. 
I don't know.. maybe its just one of my whingy days but I have nothing to be whinging about.  There is just a feeling things will not complete... I have such a blessed life.  I have all I have ever wanted.  My life isn't full of quantity and that's o.k.  I believe it's quality of life that is more important than quantity.  A person can fill their lives with plenty but that doesn't mean they are any happier than the person who has nothing.
Why am I writing this, it probably makes no sense.  I am beginning to wonder myself. As I write it brings me out of the mood and the downward sense I am feeling.  Writing is my elixir, so yes I am feeling vacant but the slight despair I was feeling has kind of moved on. 
However I still have what I was thinking in the back of my mind and wonder where will it all end up: my life, my family life, my career, the path I am treading, my marriage, my motherhood and my life as an individual.  That is the beauty of life itself, it's all a mystery and I can't wait to see where it all takes me.  So far it has not been boring and I know my life has not been for nothing but worth every situation I have been in.  I know my life has not been for vain purposes but for life itself.. my daughter's are the proof of that.

Bad habits changing to good habits..

Today I begin a little experiment in changing bad habits into good habits.  But it's not me who is trying to change from bad to good, it's my girls.  A little human dynamics so to speak.
I have been watching my girls interact with each other over the years and it is getting to a point as to where I should go or what should I do?
I have a 12year old and a soon to be 8 year old.  My oldest is quite mean at the best of the time and doesn't show love of Empathy or feeling for her younger sibling.  The younger is getting even more distressed by her sisters lack of attention in all aspects.
Don't get me wrong, sometime they play and communicate beautifully but other times they are at each other and it doesn't stop.  Now you might say, 'this sounds normal' but I don't want it to be normal, I want them both to love each other and support one another.  I am not asking for Hollywood here but I do wish they would just share each other with each other.
So, how is the situation going to change? I am going to change the momentum and replace a bad habit with a good one or a bad attitude to a good attitude. 
I am reading this book at the moment about habits.  It talks about replacing a bad habit with a good habit.  The books says that when we concentrate on 1 bad habit first like giving up smoking or drinking then all other habits will then follow or we don't focus on those bad habits.  Example; if I exercise for 15 minutes a day and that is all I concentrate on, my mind and body are not going to think about the other things like over eating. I will eventually not want to eat the bad stuff because my mind is focused on getting fit and good eating will follow.
This is where my experiment comes in.  Every day for 30 days twice a day, when they get up and before they go to bed, my girls have to hug &kiss each other and say, 'I love you, I love being your sister & I love that I am your sister'.  I want to help change the way they think of each other by creating a habit within them so it becomes natural to them to know and say they love each other.  It is kind of like affirming them and they affirming to each other they love each other.
I also had to show them and lead by example so I said the same thing to them and to my husband and maybe just maybe we will be a closer family and love each other more than before, then the girls will know how much they are loved and how much they have potential to love one another. 
I will keep you posted.  Fingers crossed I will have to girls who do truly care for one anther.

An ODE to Z...

Your probably wondering who Z is & why I need to write an ode, well I will tell you who he is in a moment.  Now before I go on, I will just clarify, I am not a physco fan or someone who obsess' about this particular (famous) individual.  Then again you might disagree but I do follow his journey on facebook on the occasion... not so much that he needs to be concerned, however I do feel I should write an ode to him because he is going through (or has gone through) some pretty major stuff of late.
OK I will cut the suspense and tell you... Zac Efron..there, I said it.  I suppose it's not really an ODE, it's more like a letter, so here goes...
Dear Z,
I understand you have gone through rehab of late... the media don't let you get away with much (at all) but I am glad that it took the media ages before they could report on it... why it's  their business to begin with is quite beyond me... how you slipped this situation by without being reported on is absolute genius... I think it's great you were able to keep this private because we the public have your life and the lives of other famous people thrust upon us and we are told every detail (mostly speculation) of what you have done or what you ate for breaky or what colour jocks you wearing, in our faces anytime we go to the shops or turn on the telly or whatever gossip site wishing to put their own spine on it.
I don't know you and you don't know me so what I am writing probably has no real impact but I want to tell you how great you are and I am encouraged by the sort of person you are and have become ... you saw your life was heading in the wrong direction and you did something about it.. bravo!!!! Proud, Proud, Proud of you.. 
I can only imagine what sort of life you lead and the pressure you face everyday with having to be a certain person, act a certain way and all the work you have with your career.  It mustn't be easy.  What impresses me is, you didn't want to be just another actor who let the addiction rule your life. You ruled your life and not many people who have addiction in their lives can say, 'I took control before it was too late'... thanks for sticking around, we need people like you...
So Mr Zac Efron, I wish you success in all you do (not just in the acting world) and I say, even though we are strangers, I am proud of you for going through this and getting to the other side.  Your battle is everyday but the best thing about it is, so are your victorys... God Bless you Z
Lizz

Just a quicky

Just when you think life is going on track, life hands you a curve ball.  I thought I was on track to do my walk to Sydney but unfortunately my left leg has copped a blow.  Last night I landed hard on my leg and now have pain right through from my ankle to my knee and I fear if I don't attend to it and get it's strength up then I will do some serious damage. So I am sacrificing my walk and postponing it to a later date.  
I am so disappointed because I thought it was all going well.  My leg gets in the way and I am not sure if I can really put it through the punishment of 10 hours of walking.  It feels like just the simplist of things is becoming harder and harder.  And I feel its not getting any better.
What am I going to do?  I will tell you, I will fight for my walk and will put all I can into achieving my goal but I have to be prepared to work for it.  I have to be prepared to work for the walk.  This is my contract to me.... I will get there!!!! Watch this space.