And so it begins

May 27, 2010

First of all, just trying to put into perspective of what I have set myself. Doing nothing sounds easy enough...I am sure most teenagers can find this quite easy. My children would find it easy. At times many adults can cope with doing nothing...It almost sounds utopian, but what do I really mean? Doing Nothing..mmmmmmmm..
I do want to refer to 'Julia & Julia' and how the movie stirred something inside...I said to myself while watching, 'I know I am ment to do something'..but what...
One of the things I like about the young Julia was her commitment to finish something she had started....Cooking was here mission Oh & Julia Childs...I don't think she (Julia2) realised she would change herself more than she changed others. It probably didn't even dawn on her how powerful her mission would become...
So back to my question...doing nothing...This has certainly crossed my mind all night...not the tossing and turning type just on my mind...I have come up with the answer (I think)..
There is irony in my venture of doing nothing. just when I think letting myself 'give up' and 'stop', the universe/God/life, throws stuff at me...
There is always things to be done. I have children which need attention, a husband, a home and all the mandane things we all have to do. I also have a direct selling business. With my DSB I had a goal to go far but I just woke up on this monday and had nothing. There was nothing within me that compelled me even to get up and to ring people and make appointmets or really go anywhere with it. It was like I had run as far as I could go or wanted to go...it made me feel not even deflated because at least I would have emotion with being deflated.
Then when I decide to give up/stop, I recieved an email from someone who wanted to have an appointment. All of a sudden when I stop fighting with myself for things to do and be, God/life/the universe shows the way.
From recollection,There is not a single time in my life I have just enjoyed being me...there is not a single time in my life when I felt not having an agenda for life was OK...I always felt I had to do something or be someone...
So..how am I going to fulfil this venture...what does 'doing nothing' for me mean, letting the life throw itself at me.