Domestic Bliss

What exactly is, 'Domestic Bliss'? Is it a state of mind, a practicle way to live or just something Hollywood conjured up to make it more romantic on the telly or big screen? Or is domestic bliss, finding glimpses of happiness or peace in the every day family, a sense that all is right with the world?
There have been many occasions where I find myself thinking I'm a little lost in my 'reality' of family. The 'what if's' creep in. Especially when I have a disagreement with the husband or the children aren't doing all they are asked and there is total disruption within the family unit. It might be a small trival disruptions, but non the less, an unbalanced perseption of the family.
I actually feel, domestic bliss, is a bit of everything, with the latter taking precidant.
Looking at my own family growing up. Boy, now that's an example I choose not to follow. My family was filled with abuse, neglect, selfishness, poverty, alienation and pain. We were by no means the ideal family example. So many things went on behind closed doors, not many people knew the daily goings on; things, I never want my daughters to have to experience.
Yet for all my family's short comings, we still functioned as a family unit. We still went to church, we still went on family holidays, we still laughed and had fun, we still ate dinner with each other and shared life, we still fought with our parents and siblings, we still punished each other for just being in the same space. There was hate and love, unforgiveness and revenge, there was fear and uncertainty, there was believing the way we lived could be better else where. Life seemed normal to us. We may have been suffering in the internal walls of our home but we still functioned. Our domestic bliss didn't seem to effect us, because we didn't know what that was, it was just living day to day.
There is so much I regret about my childhood and as much as it would have been nice to have a different life, a more stabble home, safer environment, there was still a functioning unit. Whether you could call us 'a family' in this context remains to be see. I am not sure we would be the perfect model. However, there's the irony; a disfunctional family is really a functional family.
I look at the family I am raising now and I have nothing to complain about or query really. Domestic Bliss, whether it be true or a myth, I think I can strive for it to become my reality. Maybe I am looking for a text book experience and I am just pissed off that is not turning out how I expected it to. Of course I want the 'painted picture' of a family that looks like they haven't a care in the world. I want to embrace the Brady Bunch family and take on board how they raise their kids. Who doesn't? Wouldn't life be so wonderful if family life and it's problems could be solved within half an hour? Wouldn't life be such a breeze? Groovy hey?
Domestic bliss is really just the way we handle each situation as it comes. Remember this is my perception.
I have to stop myself sometimes from wanting everything to run smoothy in my life. I don't want the yelling or the fights or the noise. I don't want to have my children argue with me everytime I tell them to do something. I want to have children who can be kind to each other and seek out how they can be less selfish to each other. It would be great to not have them hassel me to spend more money everytime we go out. It would be lovely to be able to have long deep and meaningfuls with the husband and to not feel sometimes we are strangers. I would love to see my husband and my children relate to one another and that we all just get along.
This just makes me look harder at all the truely wonderful things in life I am experiencing as a mother and as a wife. There is somewhat of a trade off here. Do I dwell on the fact my children can be disrespectful and naughty, with, how loving they are to me and want to give me hugs and love and to feel safe with me as there mum? Do I hold on to the many tears I have shed by them frustrating me from fighting and the cruel words they say to me and each other? Or do I keep close to my heart how many times they embraced each other, looked out for each other, played beautifully and laughed uncontrollable with each other. I know my children feel safe with me and they know they are loved and I know they love me. What more can domestic bliss be than this?
Yesterday, I was driving to the shops with Miss 10. I needed to get some more food. As I was driving, Miss and I were chatting about nothing too important and we were listening to the radio, just hanging out. Then a sense of rightness come over me. It felt like I was being covered by a soft sheet or blanket. It wasn't heavy or firm but more a soft and suttle sense. It was enough for me to realise I was having a sensation of happiness and right placeness, of normality.
There was no band playing the song, 'we are family', no bells or whistles to say I am in domestic bliss. It was knowing I was happy, my family is happy, that we are normal. This is when I started to think about, 'What is Domestic Bliss?'.
I am concluding domestic bliss is what you make it. Life isn't picture book perfect by any means and domestic bliss is life. Life trying it's best to function as normally as it can. It has times when everything just breaks and it has times when everything seems to work. Disfunction doesn't make domestic family life any less functional. It makes it normal and perfect and happy and real. With all the short falls in family life, I take them because they are as beautiful as when everything is moving at the right way. I have 2 of the most incredible beautiful children, who make my life so much better. I have a husband who would do anything for me and loves me to bits. My children are my greatest achievements in my life. Next to my faith, I have done a good thing. Sometimes I just watch my husband and my daughters. It so wonderful to see us as a family. That is when I know I am in the right place, even if sometimes things don't go swimmingly, I know I am happy. I know I am in Domestic Bliss.