31 May 2010
I never imagined this would actually be a hard venture for me. It is not as easy as what I thought it would be. Me being a true romantic, thought just 'doing nothing' would be almost a dream beginning and ending..and I have to stick to it for 12 months.
Maybe I have 'Illusions of Grandeur' issues...It is like I am waiting for the phone to ring and my agent will say he has the dream job or I will get 15 people ringing me for some product or another 4 or 5 people wanting to join my team. On the weekend I watched an episode of THE BILL...and one of the characters was leaving but I saw this character doing a spin off of the show so I emailed the producers of the show and suggested my absolutely fantastic idea....(Boy I am full of it) then my mind went into overdrive and in my mind (pure fantasy) I had the producers ring me asking me to be involved with my absolutely fabulous idea.
It got me to thinking of maybe the reasons why I strive in my life for the perfect life of whatever, is because my expectations of myself are just to high and unobtainable. That's not to say that my agent won't ring me or I won't get the perfect sale & business but if I am going to do this 'nothing venture' all my dreams and goals have to realistic..
I don't know, maybe this venture is a waste of time too, but if I don't just see how the year pans out with this 'do nothing' exercise then I might just miss out on living the life I have always ment to live.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
Just like Belle.
May 28 2010
Can I say to myself, 'I have achieved something in the last couple of days'? Yes & no. Does something have to happen for me to achieve anything?
I think as a human, if nothing happens then I have achieved nothing... What a load! The whole point of this exercise is do nothing and see what life throws my way, not to strive for something to happen...this does not give me permission to be lazy. I still have to get up, feed the kids, kiss the husband, do the shopping, do my job and service my community.
However, by not being so bent on getting somewhere, I might actually find myself in the right place.
How can I best discribe this "theory" (so to speak). Fridays are the highlight of my week. I look after a little special needs child (I will call her 'Belle')and she is the most delightful child. My job is to pick Belle up from her school, walk her to another centre and play with her for up to 3 hours.
I don't have to think about too much, my job is not to teach her, it is to play. We have a ball! It is so much fun! Belle just wants to play, sing, march, read books, jump, slide, dress up and then do it all over again in the spanned of 3 hours. And guest what I do? I play, sing, march, read books, jump etc....(notice how I left the slide out: my bottom is a bit big for the slide...hehehe..) but I don't have to think, I don't worry about if I am doing it right or have I achieved my goal today or whatever...and you know what, neither does Belle...it doesn't even come into it. Because it's not important!
What a lesson, what a wake up! Gosh if I could see myself through Belle's eyes of simplicity and 'the now', maybe I wouldn't see myself as an average person who fails to fulfil her life with really unimportant and trivial things...
So the question to myself is: What's the worst that could happen to me if nothing happens? Or if I don't make $1.3mil or I don't get to be Sales Director of my DSB or I never get that paid acting job I have wanted since I was a child or I never own my own home or I never go to Europe and live in Tuscany or those books I have written never get finished or published? What is the worst that could happen?
It is what is in front of me that is more important...my kids, my husband, my family, whether they are happy and feel loved and I am loved in return...I only get one chance in life with them...once that is gone it's gone.
I am not saying I shouldn't go for my dreams & goals, they are important to me but all I've ever done in life is strive. I've never given myself time to just enjoy 'the now'. Just like Belle.
Can I say to myself, 'I have achieved something in the last couple of days'? Yes & no. Does something have to happen for me to achieve anything?
I think as a human, if nothing happens then I have achieved nothing... What a load! The whole point of this exercise is do nothing and see what life throws my way, not to strive for something to happen...this does not give me permission to be lazy. I still have to get up, feed the kids, kiss the husband, do the shopping, do my job and service my community.
However, by not being so bent on getting somewhere, I might actually find myself in the right place.
How can I best discribe this "theory" (so to speak). Fridays are the highlight of my week. I look after a little special needs child (I will call her 'Belle')and she is the most delightful child. My job is to pick Belle up from her school, walk her to another centre and play with her for up to 3 hours.
I don't have to think about too much, my job is not to teach her, it is to play. We have a ball! It is so much fun! Belle just wants to play, sing, march, read books, jump, slide, dress up and then do it all over again in the spanned of 3 hours. And guest what I do? I play, sing, march, read books, jump etc....(notice how I left the slide out: my bottom is a bit big for the slide...hehehe..) but I don't have to think, I don't worry about if I am doing it right or have I achieved my goal today or whatever...and you know what, neither does Belle...it doesn't even come into it. Because it's not important!
What a lesson, what a wake up! Gosh if I could see myself through Belle's eyes of simplicity and 'the now', maybe I wouldn't see myself as an average person who fails to fulfil her life with really unimportant and trivial things...
So the question to myself is: What's the worst that could happen to me if nothing happens? Or if I don't make $1.3mil or I don't get to be Sales Director of my DSB or I never get that paid acting job I have wanted since I was a child or I never own my own home or I never go to Europe and live in Tuscany or those books I have written never get finished or published? What is the worst that could happen?
It is what is in front of me that is more important...my kids, my husband, my family, whether they are happy and feel loved and I am loved in return...I only get one chance in life with them...once that is gone it's gone.
I am not saying I shouldn't go for my dreams & goals, they are important to me but all I've ever done in life is strive. I've never given myself time to just enjoy 'the now'. Just like Belle.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
And so it begins
May 27, 2010
First of all, just trying to put into perspective of what I have set myself. Doing nothing sounds easy enough...I am sure most teenagers can find this quite easy. My children would find it easy. At times many adults can cope with doing nothing...It almost sounds utopian, but what do I really mean? Doing Nothing..mmmmmmmm..
I do want to refer to 'Julia & Julia' and how the movie stirred something inside...I said to myself while watching, 'I know I am ment to do something'..but what...
One of the things I like about the young Julia was her commitment to finish something she had started....Cooking was here mission Oh & Julia Childs...I don't think she (Julia2) realised she would change herself more than she changed others. It probably didn't even dawn on her how powerful her mission would become...
So back to my question...doing nothing...This has certainly crossed my mind all night...not the tossing and turning type just on my mind...I have come up with the answer (I think)..
There is irony in my venture of doing nothing. just when I think letting myself 'give up' and 'stop', the universe/God/life, throws stuff at me...
There is always things to be done. I have children which need attention, a husband, a home and all the mandane things we all have to do. I also have a direct selling business. With my DSB I had a goal to go far but I just woke up on this monday and had nothing. There was nothing within me that compelled me even to get up and to ring people and make appointmets or really go anywhere with it. It was like I had run as far as I could go or wanted to go...it made me feel not even deflated because at least I would have emotion with being deflated.
Then when I decide to give up/stop, I recieved an email from someone who wanted to have an appointment. All of a sudden when I stop fighting with myself for things to do and be, God/life/the universe shows the way.
From recollection,There is not a single time in my life I have just enjoyed being me...there is not a single time in my life when I felt not having an agenda for life was OK...I always felt I had to do something or be someone...
So..how am I going to fulfil this venture...what does 'doing nothing' for me mean, letting the life throw itself at me.
First of all, just trying to put into perspective of what I have set myself. Doing nothing sounds easy enough...I am sure most teenagers can find this quite easy. My children would find it easy. At times many adults can cope with doing nothing...It almost sounds utopian, but what do I really mean? Doing Nothing..mmmmmmmm..
I do want to refer to 'Julia & Julia' and how the movie stirred something inside...I said to myself while watching, 'I know I am ment to do something'..but what...
One of the things I like about the young Julia was her commitment to finish something she had started....Cooking was here mission Oh & Julia Childs...I don't think she (Julia2) realised she would change herself more than she changed others. It probably didn't even dawn on her how powerful her mission would become...
So back to my question...doing nothing...This has certainly crossed my mind all night...not the tossing and turning type just on my mind...I have come up with the answer (I think)..
There is irony in my venture of doing nothing. just when I think letting myself 'give up' and 'stop', the universe/God/life, throws stuff at me...
There is always things to be done. I have children which need attention, a husband, a home and all the mandane things we all have to do. I also have a direct selling business. With my DSB I had a goal to go far but I just woke up on this monday and had nothing. There was nothing within me that compelled me even to get up and to ring people and make appointmets or really go anywhere with it. It was like I had run as far as I could go or wanted to go...it made me feel not even deflated because at least I would have emotion with being deflated.
Then when I decide to give up/stop, I recieved an email from someone who wanted to have an appointment. All of a sudden when I stop fighting with myself for things to do and be, God/life/the universe shows the way.
From recollection,There is not a single time in my life I have just enjoyed being me...there is not a single time in my life when I felt not having an agenda for life was OK...I always felt I had to do something or be someone...
So..how am I going to fulfil this venture...what does 'doing nothing' for me mean, letting the life throw itself at me.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Grammar not my gig..
Before I leave, just want to let you know, I am not always the best person to proof read my writing..so, 'contant' was ment to be constant'...and someonen is a miss spelt word so sorry..
lizzV
lizzV
Why is it Julia's fault
Well here I am...my first blog...the first of many...
Now I know you are wondering about the 'Blame it on Julia' bit..there is no real Julia to blame, in fact why I called it that title was mainly based on the movie 'Julia & Julia'.
One of the most charming movies I have seen in a long time..it got me thinking and some how it stirred something in me to do something about myself and to find that one thing which keeps me ticking....now I don't know about you but have you ever felt sometimes you just need to be happy with you...
All my life I have felt I needed to do something or to be someonen for me to be normal. I go from one project to the next trying to figure out what I'm ment to be doing or the age ole' question,'who am I or what am I ment to be doing'. And if I'm not doing something, then I'm not normal....it's like this contant war within myself to do something...It boils down to this...'I just want to be happy with me...' Do you ever get that way
However, after watching that movie, I did feel like I should be doing something...but I got to thinking, what if I did nothing and just take in life, enjoy being me, enjoy being mum, enjoy being wife and friend?
We have such high expectations of ourselves..We live in a world where we have to be something or do something...we have list of 'to do's'....got to get this, got to be there...so on & so on...Are we ever happy with ourselves?
The old 'smell the roses' doesn't seem so trivial after all. Now I am not saying we shouldn't have dream and things to keep us occupied but if it is all we do, when do we really get to enjoy life and all it has to offer...in my time of 'doing stuff/being someone/finding myself' I am sure I have missed out on what my children are trying to say to me...I am sure of it...Gosh, I am sure they have missed mummy too.
So what is the purpose of this blog...maybe I will figure it out as I go...but I am going to put in a years effort and record all the things I am 'not doing'....
Funny though, I do still have things to do but I want to change my direction I am going in...who knows maybe I will find myself on the way
Now I know you are wondering about the 'Blame it on Julia' bit..there is no real Julia to blame, in fact why I called it that title was mainly based on the movie 'Julia & Julia'.
One of the most charming movies I have seen in a long time..it got me thinking and some how it stirred something in me to do something about myself and to find that one thing which keeps me ticking....now I don't know about you but have you ever felt sometimes you just need to be happy with you...
All my life I have felt I needed to do something or to be someonen for me to be normal. I go from one project to the next trying to figure out what I'm ment to be doing or the age ole' question,'who am I or what am I ment to be doing'. And if I'm not doing something, then I'm not normal....it's like this contant war within myself to do something...It boils down to this...'I just want to be happy with me...' Do you ever get that way
However, after watching that movie, I did feel like I should be doing something...but I got to thinking, what if I did nothing and just take in life, enjoy being me, enjoy being mum, enjoy being wife and friend?
We have such high expectations of ourselves..We live in a world where we have to be something or do something...we have list of 'to do's'....got to get this, got to be there...so on & so on...Are we ever happy with ourselves?
The old 'smell the roses' doesn't seem so trivial after all. Now I am not saying we shouldn't have dream and things to keep us occupied but if it is all we do, when do we really get to enjoy life and all it has to offer...in my time of 'doing stuff/being someone/finding myself' I am sure I have missed out on what my children are trying to say to me...I am sure of it...Gosh, I am sure they have missed mummy too.
So what is the purpose of this blog...maybe I will figure it out as I go...but I am going to put in a years effort and record all the things I am 'not doing'....
Funny though, I do still have things to do but I want to change my direction I am going in...who knows maybe I will find myself on the way
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