blessings come in all packages

Yesterday I was the recipient of kindness from a complete stranger.  It was such a lovely moment in my life I thought it was worthy of a mention.
Now I know most of my readers are from different parts of the world, so you may not appreciate the code of AFL  (Aussie rules football).  Anyway, I was at a game of AFL and my youngest daughter whom is a very busy human being was not willing to sit still throughout the game.  She also kept poking the people in front of us, to which not even an apology would ease their pain.  The best thing for her and the people around was to take her out and go to the park.
This park is quite impressive. For all the people who had the honour of coming to or witnessing the 2000 Olympics in Sydney this is where the park is.  They have converted the Olympic village into a beautiful area of parks & playgrounds for the whole family.
Well, as I was sitting there watching my child play and enjoy not being confined to a seat and the rules of being a spectator, my daughter found a Frisbee. She had great pleasure playing with.  However my daughter is not the most aware person, so she was just throwing it around the playground.
Next to me was a lady of a different culture. While sitting there, her husband and adult son joined us on the bench and her young daughter was playing on the equipment trying to impress her mum and dad.  She continued to seek their approval by yelling out 'mum, dad, brother, look at me'.
The family continued to talk amongst themselves in their language.  I like the sound of family banter.  It gives an insight into how a family relates to one another.  As they continued to chat, my girl was throwing the Frisbee.  She called out my name and threw it toward me and the other family.  The frisbee was clearly heading toward us more likely to hit the family than me, so just before it could hit them I reached out and grabbed it.  I didn't quite have a grasp of the toy but stopped from hitting anyone.
We all began to laugh as they realised I didn't quite catch it.  They were also quite good humoured about the whole thing.  I made a comment about me almost catching the frisbee.  We kind of laughed it off and then went back to the way before the 'fresbee' incident.
As we were sitting there, I turned and noticed the lady had pulled out a bag of mandarins.  She proceeded to peel the fruit.  She was insistent her son have a piece of fruit.  I turned around to observe what my girl was doing when I was presented with a mandarin.  I was completely taken back.  This lady whom I did not know and did not share any common relationship with except motherhood, was offering me a gift of fruit.  At first I politely declined the offer and said, 'No thank you' but looking into her face and seeing her kindness and willingness to share what was hers, when she insisted the second time, I gladly accepted.  I was so touched by her generosity and thanked her for her kindness.  The lady acknowledged  me but didn't not speak, she just nodded.  We ate our fruit in silence enjoying watching our children and the other kids at the park enjoy themselves.
I'd have to say it was the sweetest mandarin to taste.  Sweet because it was given in true generosity.  Sweet because a stranger was willing to share and sweet because regardless of our differences we found a common ground in our fellowship of human kind.
It was then time to go.  My husband had arrived with my other daughter and it was getting late.  The family on my bench also had to leave.  Before they left, I thanked them once again for their kindness to which I was proud to tell my husband of the lady's gesture.  As they walked away the only English the lady spoke was 'goodbye'.  As they walked away I prayed they would receive as much blessing as they had blessed me.  Some may say it was just a small piece of fruit but it was more than that.  Kindness speaks the language of many and it is a universal language and the beauty of it is, everyone understand it no matter how it comes and from whom it comes.

When?

When do you give up your dream?  When do you move on from what you have wanted all your life?  You see I am struggling with 'do I keep going, do I keep striving for a dream I may never see come to pass'.  Am I living in a fantasy?
My whole life has been about wanting to be an actor.  To be cast in something like a well paying play or TVC or even a movie.  Just to act.  Just to show I can do it, that I have the talent.  I am not saying I have completely missed out.  I have been so honoured to do a few plays here, a couple of commercials and some short  films.  Most of which the editing floor has been where my best work has ended.  He he he. Do I even have a presence about myself that makes casting directors take notice of me?
I kid myself I think. I suppose I am waiting for my 'burning bush' experience.  Me working on set or auditioning for a part or being involved in the play (even my own) and there will be some person who sees me as someone they would put in their play or movie or put me forward for something amazing.  Have I been  deluding myself?  Am I really talented and I haven't been honest with myself?  Surely I have something?
It's funny, I keep saying to myself, 'the only person who thinks I can act is my agent'.  It upsets me that I have travel this road for so long to not get to the end destination would be a total shame.  But in many ways I feel stupid.  All this time I have wasted believing in something that may never really happen.
Part of it isn't me.  My belief in my dreams is no longer for me but for my daughters.  They have to believe if you have a dream to go for it, never to give up on what makes your heart sing.  If they see me give in or not see something fulfilled where does it leave the philosophy?  I want them to have faith in their own aspirations of whatever they choose to be.  I don't want them thinking they will never see their goals fulfilled.
Then there is the other side of the coin.  When is it time to be honest with yourself and move on to a different dream or build another.  Life is amazing!   It surprises us all.  Just when we think it's over, something comes and fills up our cup of all most empty.
Years ago I had a dream of owning my own cafe.  I could see myself having a little breakfast business.  I have worked in the industry since I was 15. Which is most of my life.  And food is something I have always done. However I am way over it.  Food is something I love and I love to cook for people and invent dishes of food but it's not my passion.  Hospitality is something I do when I have to earn money.  Even working in this industry is open to so called casting directors.  Can I do the work?  Am I up to it? Will I work fast? Physically hospitality is not something I can do any more.  From my neck down, I am pretty much stuffed.
just had a little distraction.. my lovely daughters are good at that... fights over who is going to put the cat out.. makes me stop and think about the important things in life and the not so important things... I am smiling at myself and can see, I let matters I have no control over dictate to me how I am feeling... yes I want to act and I want to write and I want to travel to
France to write and the list goes on.. but I cannot control what people think or feel or whether they choose me or am I right for the part.. what I can control or aspire to do is.. be there when called up, never waste an opportunity and keep on dreaming...
also my daughters need to see a fighting spirit... to never give up even when you think it won't happen, life is full of surprises and you can only be present when life gives you the chance to do what you've always wanted to do....

On that note, I will leave it there.. I have monopolised this space long enough..thanks for listening & reading, my greatest and best audience...lizz