It's hard to believe I have let 20 days just slip away from me. The last 20 days have been somewhat strange. Doing nothing is more hard work than doing stuff. When I'm busy not too much comes to mind, I just do my work. I don't exactly know what I have been expecting.
King Lear said it right, 'nothing comes of nothing'. Although he was talking about the love his daughter was meant to lavish on him...the princibles the same. If you expect nothing, you get nothing or if you give nothing you get nothing. I suppose that is what I have been doing...but that is not really my intention.
My intention was, if I don't put any conditions on myself and try to be something or do something then life will happen. Well it's been 20 days since my last post and so far this theory is bogus...however, I have completed writing a play. My agent wants more and is not satisfied (so then it's not finish) so I'll keep working on that..There is also my misery gut attitude which keeps me busy too.
There is so much life to be lived! I wish my mind would just stopped long enough for me to enjoy all the wonderful amazing things I have already..it's called a grateful spirit.
So it does boil down to this, 'Nothing comes of nothing'..if I prolong nothing long enough then I will get nothing.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
No one said it was going to be easy..
June 6, 2010
My whole intention was to be blogging everyday and writing about how the doing nothing could actually be my saviour and something happens but....In 5 days not much has happened...oh I did get an email from a student film maker wanting me to audition for his film..So I guess that is life throwing something at me. I didn't go for it though. My excuse is I have children, childcare is expensive and well, that's my excuse..
Let me say however, that in my efforts to let life bring itself to me with my 'do nothing' theory, I have infact been more at ease with my life. I am enjoying life a lot more and my goals are taking a turn...not for the better but just a turn of a different slight in my life..
I am more attentive to my kids & I got to spend some much needed time with my husband. I not so worried about whether I achieve a goal or a dream or if I get anywhere in life. However, I will share a little envy on my part....
My friend who has only just entered into the entertainment business, has been getting jobs for commercials and was an extra in a top rating soap drama...Although I am proud of her and couldn't be happier for her (she is brilliant!!) I am missing the mark and not getting jobs or even being considered for any roles..Do I suck that bad!!!
Last year I did a play, I had a very short part and we were brilliant! Aparently there were industry professionals in the audience who had a positive vibe about the performance, yet I still didn't get any work...Maybe I am just nieve to think that it would happen if I did a good performance or if I auditioned enough times. I even prayed to God and said to Him, 'Will no one hire me?' I am so happy for my friend. I wish her every success. I am envious because, I have worked the last 5 years and just to get a positive compliment doesn't make me feel great about the dream of becoming an actor.
Back to, 'doing nothing'....I am a little worried my 'nothing' effort will turn out to be 'nothing'. I will just have to wait and see when a year is up. My 'doing nothing' might just be that, nothing but it's going to be interesting to see...
My whole intention was to be blogging everyday and writing about how the doing nothing could actually be my saviour and something happens but....In 5 days not much has happened...oh I did get an email from a student film maker wanting me to audition for his film..So I guess that is life throwing something at me. I didn't go for it though. My excuse is I have children, childcare is expensive and well, that's my excuse..
Let me say however, that in my efforts to let life bring itself to me with my 'do nothing' theory, I have infact been more at ease with my life. I am enjoying life a lot more and my goals are taking a turn...not for the better but just a turn of a different slight in my life..
I am more attentive to my kids & I got to spend some much needed time with my husband. I not so worried about whether I achieve a goal or a dream or if I get anywhere in life. However, I will share a little envy on my part....
My friend who has only just entered into the entertainment business, has been getting jobs for commercials and was an extra in a top rating soap drama...Although I am proud of her and couldn't be happier for her (she is brilliant!!) I am missing the mark and not getting jobs or even being considered for any roles..Do I suck that bad!!!
Last year I did a play, I had a very short part and we were brilliant! Aparently there were industry professionals in the audience who had a positive vibe about the performance, yet I still didn't get any work...Maybe I am just nieve to think that it would happen if I did a good performance or if I auditioned enough times. I even prayed to God and said to Him, 'Will no one hire me?' I am so happy for my friend. I wish her every success. I am envious because, I have worked the last 5 years and just to get a positive compliment doesn't make me feel great about the dream of becoming an actor.
Back to, 'doing nothing'....I am a little worried my 'nothing' effort will turn out to be 'nothing'. I will just have to wait and see when a year is up. My 'doing nothing' might just be that, nothing but it's going to be interesting to see...
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
I have nothing...
1 June 2010
Just rather 'blah' today...not really sure where this is all heading...but I will say this...I feel a little bit more relaxed with my children. I think it is because I am not so worried about my life that I feel more at ease with my kids...I'm not putting them through the expectations of being something or doing something...I am just enjoying them...
Maybe when I am relaxed and at ease they get the benifits. I will say however, I have spend a too much time on the computer today, which is not a good thing..so no computer for the rest of the evening...I don't want to miss out on spending time with my kids... bye till next time.
Just rather 'blah' today...not really sure where this is all heading...but I will say this...I feel a little bit more relaxed with my children. I think it is because I am not so worried about my life that I feel more at ease with my kids...I'm not putting them through the expectations of being something or doing something...I am just enjoying them...
Maybe when I am relaxed and at ease they get the benifits. I will say however, I have spend a too much time on the computer today, which is not a good thing..so no computer for the rest of the evening...I don't want to miss out on spending time with my kids... bye till next time.
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