You know the feeling.. there you are in a good situation, nothing really worth complaining about in your life.. you have everything you need, life has been going at a steady pace and you are blessed enough, things seems to be fine but you are still left with the sense of vacancy; not vague or empty but just vacant.
Today I am feeling that way. It is quite surreal. It is like my insides are expecting something to happen at some stage in this life but there is an uncertain sense with in. Not unhappiness, just a sense that things in my life could be at a different level.
I don't know.. maybe its just one of my whingy days but I have nothing to be whinging about. There is just a feeling things will not complete... I have such a blessed life. I have all I have ever wanted. My life isn't full of quantity and that's o.k. I believe it's quality of life that is more important than quantity. A person can fill their lives with plenty but that doesn't mean they are any happier than the person who has nothing.
Why am I writing this, it probably makes no sense. I am beginning to wonder myself. As I write it brings me out of the mood and the downward sense I am feeling. Writing is my elixir, so yes I am feeling vacant but the slight despair I was feeling has kind of moved on.
However I still have what I was thinking in the back of my mind and wonder where will it all end up: my life, my family life, my career, the path I am treading, my marriage, my motherhood and my life as an individual. That is the beauty of life itself, it's all a mystery and I can't wait to see where it all takes me. So far it has not been boring and I know my life has not been for nothing but worth every situation I have been in. I know my life has not been for vain purposes but for life itself.. my daughter's are the proof of that.
Today I am feeling that way. It is quite surreal. It is like my insides are expecting something to happen at some stage in this life but there is an uncertain sense with in. Not unhappiness, just a sense that things in my life could be at a different level.
I don't know.. maybe its just one of my whingy days but I have nothing to be whinging about. There is just a feeling things will not complete... I have such a blessed life. I have all I have ever wanted. My life isn't full of quantity and that's o.k. I believe it's quality of life that is more important than quantity. A person can fill their lives with plenty but that doesn't mean they are any happier than the person who has nothing.
Why am I writing this, it probably makes no sense. I am beginning to wonder myself. As I write it brings me out of the mood and the downward sense I am feeling. Writing is my elixir, so yes I am feeling vacant but the slight despair I was feeling has kind of moved on.
However I still have what I was thinking in the back of my mind and wonder where will it all end up: my life, my family life, my career, the path I am treading, my marriage, my motherhood and my life as an individual. That is the beauty of life itself, it's all a mystery and I can't wait to see where it all takes me. So far it has not been boring and I know my life has not been for nothing but worth every situation I have been in. I know my life has not been for vain purposes but for life itself.. my daughter's are the proof of that.
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