What do I want my life to look like?

What is it?  What do I want my life to look like?  Or should I say, 'What do I want my life to have matter, to have changed, to have challenged, to have inspired?  How can I make a difference in this world which will leave a mark (in a positive way) on this world.
No matter how many times I ask myself that question, I am still waiting for an answer.  Still trying to figure out that for myself.  I know I want it to mean something.  I know I want it to have contributed to the world, to my daughters, to my relationships.
I feel if I don't do something extraordinary then I have wasted the space called life.  But I have to ask myself, who am I doing all this self discovery for?  Is it for my benefit, my daughter's, my husband's, for you, for God?
It's all of the above but mostly me.  I'm the one who has to look at myself in the mirror and answer the question.  If I am not true to myself and do, I may as well pack up and ask God to take me home.  It's sounds all so simple, maybe that's the problem.  It is simple enough to say what I'm want to do, but the trick is to do what I want to do.
Then there's the question, 'Why can't I just exist'?  Do what I have to do in the day to get me through.  I did drama classes years ago with a girl who never had any big dreams or aspirations and she was happy.  I never met anyone who just was happy waking up, going to her job and just living her life.  She never had any big dreams or big ideas.  She just lived.  Plus she never really saw the big deal about achieving stuff, she wanted to just live her life.  The funny thing was, she thought she was strange to not have those ideas.  And what made it all the more interesting was, she was happy.  Man I envied her.  Life would be so much easier at times if we just went about our day just living.  I wish I could be that happy in life I didn't screw my head up with all the things I wish I could do.
Having children changes life slightly.  You want to be the example so your children can fulfill a dream or a goal or an agenda.  I want to do stuff so my daughter will know they also can achieve what they dream about. I feel I will let them down if I don't work toward something and succeed at it.
I want my husband to see that my determination to go for it has paid off and he can be proud of me and I can be proud of me too.
My husband is a funny one.  He is not one to show or share  his feeling so freely.  Very rarely does he show emotion.  I do catch him out sometimes though and when I do, I feel more in love with him than before.  The two occasions I can think of is, after my play, he and the girls were the first people who embraced me.  To see his face and his pride for me was something I will remember forever and I am glad I got to see my family first.  The other time I saw my husbands emotion was when my Jess was at her concert and she did a lyrical with her class.  I could hear my husbands emotion as he watched his beautiful little girl be a dancer.  He told me after, she is a dancer.  The pride for her was beautiful and admirable.
What I want my life to look like is almost a unrealistic romance movie.  If I could be as happy as some to these movies on the telly or screen, I think I would be happy but my life isn't a movie, it is far from it.  I have to make my own happiness and do the best I can with what God has given me.  I have to get of the couch and walk to Sydney again, I have to write another play, finish what I started, loose weight, get fit, go to France.  Life will not just happen.  I have to make my life into something they will make a movie about.  It is not a romance novel.  Things don't just happen.  Life is more interesting than that.  At the end of my life if I can do half of what I have set out to do in this life, then I have done it.  My life isn't over yet and I have more life to live. 
That dear friends is what I want my life to look like.  And it doesn't matter if my life never looks like what I expect it to, then that is brilliant to.  Life  is full of surprise and that's what makes it so great.