Deflated but not defeated..

The last 2 days have been quite interesting.  It has been a total up and down experience for me.  I feel so exhausted by it all. 
Yesterday was more of a physical deflation.  I went to the shop to do my shopping for christmas, as one does, and while shopping and looking around, a candle from the top shelf fell on my head.  I wasn't knocked over but I had the wind taken out of me, plus it hurt like hell.  When paying for my goods, I told the sales guy what had happened but I doubt it will be relayed back to the superviser.  I have a suspicion if I go in there again, the candles will still be on the top shelf and nothing would have changed.
Then the next thing was spilling very hot coffee on myself, burning me and staining my shirt.  I was thinking, 'What a morning I am having'! The good thing was, I had a hair appointment and it was a wonderful distraction to what started out as quite an ordinary, physically demanding day.
Today has had it's own set of deflation.  In someway I feel what I am feeling is quite trivial and I am making such a big deal of the situation.  Then again, it is what I am feeling and that is important too.
Earlier this year I was cast in a short movie and I was so excited someone had thought I was the right person to fulfil this character.  I've been antisipating seening myself on the big/small screen in this roll.  I got my invite and found out, they have cut me from the film.  Although I know the process of how the business works, I am no less disappointed with the outcome.  It was a small production and I know the director feels bad having to cut me from the film.  She was very apologetic.  I get that.  That's show bizz!  Still I am left with a sense of disappointment.  I am probably being a big baby.  I am continually faced with my own delema.  Am I really made for the arts?  Or is the arts made for me?  Do I have the presence and the face for the camera? Or do I just suck at acting?
For so long in my entire life I have done nothing but dream I will be an actor/writer and work in the industry.  Have I just been kidding myself? I will feel differently in the morning, I am sure. What a difference 24 hours makes but I am still feeling deflated.
I am a mum and I also feel it is important to be the example to my children.  If they see their mum achieve a dream, then they also will be drawn to a dream and hopefully succeed at it.  Here's the rub though, if I am not even achieving the little things then what am I ment to be doing?
I am only venting, so it will become clear to me when I have stopped being so emotional.  It just hurts though!  I am not sure I know what to do from now on. 
A couple of years ago, I remember praying out loud talking to God and I said to Him, 'Is there noone who thinks I can act?' My agent I feel, is the only one who has faith and confidence in me.  He has been successfull at getting me some work and casting me in a production.  I don't want to continually doubt my own ability.  Many times I have been reasurred this is not the case but I can't call myself an actor if I am not acting. 
That's why I have decided to write my own work.  I have a play coming up in the new year and it's a good play.  I am one of the characters.  Deciding to write my own jobs was a way I could continually be in the industry.  I still love the arts.  However there is only so much confidence I can have in my own work. 
As I said before, I am venting and tomorrow will be a different day.  I may be deflated but I can't give up any dream of success in the arts industry.  I'm sure someone out there will see that I can do the work.  I'm not after the Hollywood experience as such, I just want to be saying to myself that I did a good job and I am worth the work.  Sometimes though I feel like I am running on empty and I am using up all my emotional, mental and physical resourses to convince myself I can do it.
Maybe this will build character.  I am hoping because at this moment, my character has had a blow.  And I feel pretty low.  There is only so many times I can tell myself I am in the right direction. That is why I can say, 'it is not impossible'.  Let's hope I will continue to feel that way and things I would not expect come my way.