No one said it was going to be easy..

June 6, 2010
My whole intention was to be blogging everyday and writing about how the doing nothing could actually be my saviour and something happens but....In 5 days not much has happened...oh I did get an email from a student film maker wanting me to audition for his film..So I guess that is life throwing something at me. I didn't go for it though. My excuse is I have children, childcare is expensive and well, that's my excuse..
Let me say however, that in my efforts to let life bring itself to me with my 'do nothing' theory, I have infact been more at ease with my life. I am enjoying life a lot more and my goals are taking a turn...not for the better but just a turn of a different slight in my life..
I am more attentive to my kids & I got to spend some much needed time with my husband. I not so worried about whether I achieve a goal or a dream or if I get anywhere in life. However, I will share a little envy on my part....
My friend who has only just entered into the entertainment business, has been getting jobs for commercials and was an extra in a top rating soap drama...Although I am proud of her and couldn't be happier for her (she is brilliant!!) I am missing the mark and not getting jobs or even being considered for any roles..Do I suck that bad!!!
Last year I did a play, I had a very short part and we were brilliant! Aparently there were industry professionals in the audience who had a positive vibe about the performance, yet I still didn't get any work...Maybe I am just nieve to think that it would happen if I did a good performance or if I auditioned enough times. I even prayed to God and said to Him, 'Will no one hire me?' I am so happy for my friend. I wish her every success. I am envious because, I have worked the last 5 years and just to get a positive compliment doesn't make me feel great about the dream of becoming an actor.
Back to, 'doing nothing'....I am a little worried my 'nothing' effort will turn out to be 'nothing'. I will just have to wait and see when a year is up. My 'doing nothing' might just be that, nothing but it's going to be interesting to see...